Finnish weather explained

May 29, 2006 § 2 Comments

+15°C / 59°F

This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we’ll start here.

People in Spain wears winter-coats and gloves.

The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F

The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.

The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F

Italian cars won’t start.

The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F

Distilled water freezes.

The water in the Vanda river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F

People in California almost freeze to death.

The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F

The Brits start the heat in their houses.

The Finns start using long sleeves.

-20°C / -4°F

The Aussies flee from Mallorca.

The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

-30°C / -22°F

People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.

The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F

Paris start cracking in the cold.

The Finns stand in line at the “grilli-kioski”.

-50°C / -58°F

Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.

The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60°C / -76°F

Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.

The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

-70°C / -94°F

The false Santa moves south.

The Finns get frustrated since they can’t store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.

The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C / -297.4°F

Microbes in food don’t survive.

The Finnish cows complain that the farmers’ hands are cold.

273°C / -459.4°F

All atom-based movent halts.

The Finns start saying “Perkele, it’s cold outside today.”

-300°C / -508°F

Hell freezes over.

Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.


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